LOST LANGUAGE OF LAMENT 
The wind doesn’t speak to me anymore
The sunlight doesn’t wait for me
No prayers, nor bells
No mourning voices, nor burning candles
Can shine the holy glimmers of goodbye
The cold kiss of that winter night so blue bitter
My soul wounded and weary
Weeping with fatigue frustration
My mind rimmed with shadows
My emotions crash against me
Like a ship tossed from wave to wave
In a heavy sea of suffering
My body was paralyzed with utter shock
With lullaby of suffering
Where are you? Have you decided to leave me here all behind?
The threat of loss began to chew my mind
Like a gnawing rodent
In all my dreams, in all helpless sight
I see you wrapped in a warm blanket
Of a white angles’ wings
It was like a dream of spring
A seed planted in the garden of love
Grew a tiny red rosebud
So small; it never had time to open at all
I stumbled through the valley of death
Weeping through the powdery ash over the still warm charcoal
A tiny, curled up body, blue translucent skin,
Wine red lips, two pinkish-white eyelids closed forever
There was more than one heartbeat that stopped that night
The somber sound of the cradle sends chills to my spine
As the flashbacks puncture my brain
Could you ever return to your flesh and bones?
The silence of the absence deepens flickers
The black tide of grief and pain
I’m losing my anchorage to the earth,
My neck tilts like a sunflower-
Too heavy to meet the sky
Walking wearily through the desolate deserts, I wandered
Where is my pain glorified?
The thought of letting you go brings a sick hollow feeling
The most acidic of the beast- depression
Holds a hostage in my head
I’m sitting here mystified and numbed with pain
Some say you can’t lose
Something you never had
If that’s true then how am I still stuck in this dark pit?
If time heals then why does my sorrow still swallow me?
Sometimes I feel like an imposter
Negotiating my way out
Sometimes I am caught in this endless circle
Locked in the illusion that I am going somewhere
A bouquet of black balloons floats above my head
The slow yielding music of reality
Claims me as its own
Though you were gone
Like a morning cloud- that vanishes traceless
The love that was planted is a light that still shines
Like a morning dew
The daffodil, a foreigner so completely at home
Grows taller at each bloom
